You don't seem to realise at all that these problems will surface sooner or later. Yes. You can tell me that one won't get everything that he wants in life. But for me to bear with all these and act as though nothing happened? No. I can't manage that. I've tried, I've failed and I've tried again. Things are just getting complicated and out of hand. I just wish things were simpler.

It's been so super long since I last updated. In Dear's office now while he is down at Kitchen. Won't be out with him today as I will be having dinner with my family. His plan for the night alone is to head over to Ngee Ann City to watch the Lion Dance Competition.

Went to Dear's mama house yesterday to pass her the box of 7th month items. She seems to be a very cheerful person to me. And she gave me a very comfortable feeling when I spoke to her (: Anyway, left for home after that. Dear intended to buy 11kg of long beans which he needed this morning from Sheng Shiong on the way home. But doubt they hold so much stock anyway when it's already at night.

Work has been hectic lately and I am reverting back to answering Tingkat Calls. *sighs* I sometimes wish the system which they currently hold can be improvised. Not that the current system doesn't work, but sometimes, efficiency and responsiblity of drivers should be enforced right at the beginning and not when negative things start to happen. Lately, more drivers are forgetting to bring along their plain rice for customers and thus, they have to detour to deliver them. But when we called them to inform them, they just asked us to handle ourselves (either we apologise to customers and ask them to cook their own rice or to arrange and send another driver down just to deliver rice). I would then be very furious and wonder what are all these drivers for. Can't they understand, how are these customers suppose to have their meals when they only have the dishes without rice. Heartless creeps! >.<

Got to go soon and leave office for now (:

I will soon give up.

Sighs. I am so bored and hungry! ): Waiting for Dear to end work now and I have absolutely nothing to do except to blog. I have already completed all my work le. So tired this few days. Literally bath and plop into my bed at once I reached home.

So feel like eating "shi lin" chicken, fresh oyster and black pepper steak now T.T

I can't fall asleep when you are out.

I can't concentrate on whatever I am doing knowing you are down.

It warms my heart just watching you smile.

I'm all gleeful messing up your hair.

There are many reasons why you are on my mind, even till this hour.

I'd yearn to have you back to your usual self.

Back to being strong and unbeatable.

My life, in pieces, was just like a jigsaw.

You were the glue, sticking these pieces together.

I wish I knew you well enough,

to be able to cheer you up when you are down.

avoid doing things to make you frustrated and upset.

I tried, but I failed to do so.

i'm sorry.

Been so hectic recently and going out to many places with Dear. I'm so super happy! (: But guess happiness runs out rather fast. Time wheezed by since 16th May and till now, I still think that there isn't enough time. Even 24 hours isn't sufficient. And what's worse? Having more jobscopes and lesser time spent available! But he has to do his job. Much unhappiness and upset but well, guess it's high time that I should grow up and think maturely. Time spent together is not all in life. Have been going out with him everyday for the past 1 month (except days whereby he had to stay back for meeting). Many of his actions warmed my heart (: Never did anyone make for me honey lemon when I am having a cold, and he made it twice :D I love lying on his shoulder while he is driving till I fall asleep soundly. Spending the whole evening with him just watching the waves makes me feel as though we are all alone in the vicinity. There are endless and indescribable feelings to everything.

My Shi Fu told me this recently that if I hit 200k sales in this coming lunar 7th month, I will get $500 commission. Well, how am I able to hit it? I have never "chiong" sales before. Have always been concentrating in my Tingkat and answering buffet calls occassionally. How am I competent enough to hit 200k? Damn! It's kind of far-fetched to me. But nevertheless, if I am really given that chance to answer buffet calls officially, I will definitely try my very best and not let my Shi Fu or Dear down. Being fully in sales has always been my motivation. But right up till now, I am still unsure as to why my director does not want to transfer me over to the sales department? In what way am I lacking in capabilities that others don't? He once said that I am too young when I first joined this company on 20th October last year. It's already the 7th month, yet I am still not given the chance. But I will still strive towards my goal no matter what. *sighs* I really hate it when those people thinks I am in another part of the building playing or taking a break. Do they even understand how much trouble all those drivers and kitchen people are giving me trouble? It's true that sometimes I do miss things out here and there. But I always receive complaints from customers on late delivery and food quality. Well, I don't understand all these comments on the food. I have even tried having the food at 10pm without reheating and it wasn't even the least bit spoilt. And having the food at 7pm? I'm sure it won't.

Well, enough of work matters. Dear ordered 2 kites on Monday and went to collect it on Tuesday after Driver Meeting. Was pretty excited to fly it on Wednesday after work. But alas! It rained in the late afternoon and of course, the air was still. There wasn't any wind, don't even talk about enough wind to fly a kite. Damn! Was slightly disappointed. But great! I spent the rest of the next 1 hour sitting with Dear watching the waves and chatted (: But I was super tired and almost fell asleep while talking. I guess Dear noticed that my eyes were about to close and he initiated to go back to the car. Chatted awhile more before sending me back home. Up till now, there are so many things in common and our bluetooth is still working. Many times I did the wrong things and he ended up catching me in action. And much worse, we had eye contact. Here are a list of some occasions which left a deep impression.

1) I was at 10E spending my weekend doing logistics stuff secretly.He drove to 10E and caught me folding table skirting, asked me if I want to join him for dinner. As I didn't know him enough then and never spoke to him before, I declined and he drove off.

2) I was skinning and dicing sweet potato in the outside the kitchen when the lift door opened and he walked out of it. And at that moment, I was shocked to see him there and the chopper landed into my little finger. Luckily the chopper was not very sharp. If not I would have to bade my little finger farewell.

3) While I was following a driver for delivery on a Saturday, I alighted at a nearby bus-stop as I didn't want to appear in office grounds. I wasn't suppose to follow company drivers for delivery. In the end, Dear happened to walk towards his car and he spotted me no matter how much I tried to face the other way round in hope that he didn't notice that it was me. Got to know that he realized a few days later in msn when he told me.

4) Again, I was following another part-time driver out for delivery on a Saturday. His van was parked on a slope at the back gate near the rubbish bin. I was trying my very best to hide myself from all other people. And out of nowhere, I had this sudden fear in me and had this urgency to stick myself as close to the seat as possible as I had this feeling that Dear is nearing. And much to my expectation, I was right! But the shocking thing was that Dear happened to walk past the window. There was another van between us. But right at that moment he passed the window, he turned his head to face me and we had direct eye contact. And I will always remember the expression he had on his face. A forewarning.

5) Went for drinking with 2 other friends and we were at ground floor. While they both were deciding on where to head over to, I had nothing to do and listened to their conversation. Tried my very best to hide under the big umbrella. But there was something within me that told me to look up. And guess what? Dear was looking out of his window and at that moment, he saw me downstairs and yet again, we had eye contact. He shook his head and moved away from his window. I swear I never looked up at any of the windows before.

6) Went to work pretty early at 8.40am when my work started at only 10am. As I didn't want to spend time in office yet, I went downstairs to the container office to look for Annie to chat. It happened so that she was on morning half-day leave and I walked around. Mr Curry and a few others were inside another container peeling onions and skinning potatoes, so I went to join them. I hid myself and wasn't in a spot whereby anyone outside can see me even though I was just beside the opened door. But right at that moment. Something within me told me that Dear was nearing. And once again, when I look out slowly out of the door, he was just about to enter the container office and his hand was already on the door knob turning it. Instantaneously, he turned his head and our eyes were in contact. He gestured for me to get away from that place I was in, but I didn't listen to him. 2nd time, he came out of office to wash the coffee pot, I looked out again and he was at the door again. This time he struck a fierce look and immediately, I took off the pair of gloves I was wearing and followed him back to the container office. He lectured me for being there peeling the onions. After apologising, I went back to my sit. But within 5 mins, he sms-ed me to go down again. This time, the lecture was even longer and those China workers who walked past even laughed at me for being caught and lectured by him. The scene was damn embarrassing!

I guess so far, those mentioned above are the most memorable incident. I am not sure why either that we have this special connection. We have alot of interest alike and I feel totally secure in his presence.

Yay! My birthday is coming! Countdown (: And I have a twin in office. Our birthday falls on 2nd August! *wahaha* and we always address each other as twin. I will be turning 20 soon and there goes my teenager life. *sighs!* Going to be 21 years old next year. Will be updating my wishlist soon as there are different set of things that I want to achieve when I reach another stage in life.

Dear's having meeting today at OC and will be ending rather late. Might fall asleep before he ends meeting. Planned to go kite flying tomorrow but again, it might rain. And yippee! Will be out shopping on Saturday evening after his work. But high chance will be watching waves again. *wahaha!* It's getting late. Shall update soon when I have the time again. Goodnights all! (:

Damn! I am so fucking pissed with this place now! Gets told off every now and then just because I didn't follow up with my girl's work. Sometimes, really feel a need to talk to someone. But due to recent happenings, I feel so forlorn in this place.

Many of them tend to take things for granted. Take the following for example. Recently, we started taking in sushi orders. As the file for records was increasing in thickness, and there was a need in having a database for customer's details, they brought up the idea during meeting to have one. As usual, I have to do up such stuffs. It's not even in my jobscope in the first place. But that's not the most depressing matter to start with! They even started grumbling for things as stated in the following:

1) Date doesn't appear as wanted. Eg. intended to key 01 June 2010 (as 01/06/2010), instead, it appeared as 06 January 2010 (06/01/2010).

• Attempted as I might to explain to them how should they key the date in order for it to appear as intended. But they just rebutted me that this database is lousy, can't even key date properly.
• They should just type it as "1jun10" and bingo! 01/06/2010 will appear.

2) Not able to search through for customer's details by typing information like mobile number.

• They could have just keyed in "ctrl + F".

Just bought a Sony Digital Camera today from Gain City! (: Super in love with it now. Kept sms-ing Dear to ask which brand of camera I should buy. And he said Sony is better as there is sweep panorama function. Wanted to buy the other T series, but it's higher priced. Therefore, ended up buying this:

Yay! I am so in love with my netbook. Many people asked me why I did I buy a netbook instead of a notebook. But my answer is simple. That is, because I only need something small and handy. My usage is low, therefore, I only need a device whereby I can bring around, had mircosoft office, can surf the net and things like that. And someone taught me something that can save cost. *haha* I intended to sign up for mobile internet (the device which enables you to have internet access and looks very much like a thumbdrive). If not for this someone who told me that my handphone can also be used in such a way, I would have wasted extra money on signing up for the mobile internet plan. Right now, surfing the net is so convenient. I can even use it to watch streamed videos when I am out of house (: Super happy. And right now, my netbook is my companion.

Many things happened recently. And I am grateful that I have known this someone who have been my listening ear all this while. He won't be seeing this page though. But there's many things that I have always wanted to say right from the beginning. But I have set my mind to let this thinking of mine rest as I know that there wouldn't be a good ending to it. Next in line is another close friend of mine, aka my new brother. He never fail to make my day when I am down. But sometimes, unwanted trouble would arise. Matters that happened recently taught me to be stronger, more decisive and of course, less gullible. Believing in others easily has always been my weakness. 2 phrase that was headed to me just this few days was "trust no one"and "my life, my choice". Which is highly true. And I only take into consideration since yesterday.

My life has been full of interesting incidents recently. But all in all, my life is always a

routine. Sleep, wake, work, eat, sleep. And nothing more. Drinking occasionally maybe. That's when I am down or I am bored to bits.

I feel like studying. But I am just so reluctant to register for the course. I wish someone can just help me register for the course and I will just pay and study. But... my parents are reluctant to do so ): *hahaha*

I want it back!

Yay! I am so happy! Finally gotten my own netbook! Don't have to fight with my brother over the notebook bought when I was studying in polytechnic. Here is what I bought:

Besides my new netbook, a netbook case, I also bought 2 tops, a adidas bag for my brother's birthday present, and my long-awaited adidas sports bra. hahaha!

Fuck! I am stressed to death! =/ How to survive through this ordeal. Heard many many advices from so many people, but still, I don't know what's within me that's actually stopping myself from moving away from all these. I don't know how long I will last this way. My tolerance limit might be here any moment.

Ahh!! I feel so bottled up. And I feel like drinking like I used to. It seems like I will never get the chance ever again ):

It's been so super long since I last posted in my blog ): And it's been such a hectic life for me ever since I started working in Neo Group. But working here is fun. Some people come and go frequently and there are many activities going on every month. Take for instance, the monthly sports night. It's quite interactive, except for the fact that we have to run ): Ahhh... I hate running. I would love to spar instead. For anyone reading this page, if you have events going on that needs buffet catering such as 21st Birthday, Baby Shower or functions, do check out with 2 websites. They are highly recommended! www.neogarden.com.sg or www.orangeclove.com.sg.

I've learnt loads while working in this company. Such as handling difficult customers, minimal political environment. Best of all, I get to interact with many people over phone! (: But I hate the fact that I am careless! I tried opening my eyes bigger but alas! There are still mistakes here and there without me noticing them. This place taught me to be more mature. Some people are great! But I realised some are out to hurt you. And with me being the youngest, I am bound to learn things the slowest and of course, have the least experience.

Got to go out now. Will update more when I get back! (:

I just realised I haven't post my resolutions for 2010! *hahas* Let me do it now.

Resolutions for 2010:
1) Take my work seriously.
2) Don't play around too much - Time to grow up
3) Register for a Part-time Diploma Course
4) Slim Down to 50KG - Almost impossible
5) The list goes on.

It's been more than a year since I left studying in polytechnic. I miss my poly cliques. And it's been more than a year since I last met up with my TKD cliques too ): Well, haven't got the time for that now.

I miss eating steamboat with my brothers! ): I will still have to wait for another month at least before I can have my beloved crab again. One of them promised to treat me crab when I have fully recovered! :D I miss eating dumplings too!

我要吃螃蟹!!

I suddenly come to realise that he really cares alot for me. Right from the start when we first met, he has been trying to protect me all this while. But all I know, is to make him angry or disappointed in me. I used to trust others easily but not now. Somehow, that incident left a crater in me and it's there for good. I once felt my heart die. Like I'm being emotionless or cold-blooded. I used to breakdown when I get hurt. But right now, I am cold in my emotions. I don't even feel a damn tinge of sadness within me and my tears don't roll that easily.

Hellos All!

It's been so long since I last updated! I'm sure everyone misses me to the max! :D

It's so curious to see almost every website that I go to appear in Chinese text.

I guess I'm quite a grown up child now. Recent life has brought me back to reality and how cruel it can be. And how I have to strive much for the things I want badly. And how someone you can trust, stab you in your back and goes around telling everyone that he has stabbed you. Sometimes, it's weird. Coming to 20 this year and not knowing half the things that I am doing. Sighs.

Changed to a new phone recently:

So unfortunate that there isn't other colours. But it's a good phone afterall (: Except that it keeps changes date by itself and my messages goes haywire! And the call history list is totally weird. Sound system's not really good also. Same goes for the camera. Only 3.2MP )): But on a brighter note, the phone's flat and light! Great for the pocket! :D

I so want to go China for holiday! I want to experience living there! Sighs. Must make it a point to go there by the end of the year. I want to go Genting too! T.T