That's it.

"I guess I will just be someone who will listen to your woes when you experience them. And not someone who can share your happiness. I was kind of hurt by your tone and was taken aback. I mean... I just thought we are siblings. 但是没想到我连做妹妹都不配."

Went to watch From Vegas to Macau with Denny and Eric today. I realised I have been clinging onto something dead. It's like... trying to fish a prawn with a piece of meat, instead of a worm. I have a live worm hanging, why would I want a stale meat? Now I realised Denny is far more sincere than Joseph is. He places me as his priority, whenever he goes out drinking, he make sure that he brings me along to mingle with his friends so that I we can hang out together with his friends easily. When we are out drinking, he will keep talking to me and make sure that I don't feel outcast even though it means he will not get to chat with his friends. But fortunately, I'm good with his buddies. When we are around with friends I haven't met before, he will hold onto my hand, somehow it makes me feel secured, it's as though he is telling these guys that I'm his girlfriend and not to approach me.

I realised I haven't been giving him a chance to prove his love for me and I kept holding on to something that will never be alive again. But these few days, I realised I am more and more attracted to his attentiveness and thoughtfulness that brought me to try to understand him more instead of the usual surface conversations. I hope he will be able to pull through his financial difficulties, start afresh and build his walls again. At least, we share similar visions now of staying in the same home, cooking together, build out little empire of Thai Amulets and kumanthong, rear the same dog, renovate the house in our same taste, and hopefully, set up a food stall together. A simpler life, but more fulfilling, secure, and more importantly, a place call home rather than a house.

Humans change, feelings changes too. All is needed is an open heart and a change of perspective.