How do I really feel?

It has been so many days since our breakup. It was devastating, yes. But after various informations that I have gathered, I've came to realise that I am the only loyal one in the relationship. Being loyal isn't entirely about the body. It's also the heart.

Yes. It was painful finding out the truth. I wish to trust you in many ways. But nonetheless, you have betrayed me time after time. Well, to many others, you were only together with your current girlfriend since 07 December 2013. But to me, I am aware that while I was on my trip to Shenzhen, you have been meeting her up and fell for her. I don't blame you for this. I have never been a partner who loves partying. I never liked dolling myself up, I am not as young as her. The truth sank in and I have decided to give up. When you were back in Singapore, you still assured me that it's not a 3rd party issue that lead to our break up. I am just plain disappointed in you.

But deep within me, it's difficult to suppress my love for you. I told everyone that I have already given up on you. And even if 1 day you were to return, I will never get back together with you again. I have been hurt so much that I am a totally changed person now. I don't take relationships seriously anymore now. I want to fend myself off from the others.

But there's always a saying that if you love a person, just let him be, let him find what he want and be happy. It's called the unconditional love. All I want is for you to be happy and find your true love even though I know I will never be the one that you want to find. It's heart breaking to let you go just like that. But I have to learn.

But I have to thank you. For the past 2 years, I have been controlled by you, preventing me from meeting my friends, I'm not even allowed to message them. It was torturing. But I was willing to give up everything so as not to hurt you. But right now, I have finally found my freedom, I get to see friends around me who really care about me. Some of them are even your good friends once. But do you know something? Most of them said you have a 風流 character and were infact glad that we broke up. It was a blessing in disguise.

I want to shout out loud, I want to vent my sadness. I want to take a break from all these.

我給你最後的疼愛是手放開.